When it comes to dating in later life, dating over 50 isn’t really too different to online dating at any other age. Whatever dating site you join, they all tend to work in broadly the same way. Members sign up, add a profile, search for local members and make contact. Simple but effective. However, when you venture into online dating over 50, there’s a few do’s and don’ts that can really make a difference to how successful your online endeavours are.
Here are just some of the do’s and don’ts to bear in mind.
Being single and dating over 50 means you’re at a certain stage in your life where certain things about you are well established. You know who you are, what you like and dislike, and should have a pretty good idea about what you’re hoping to find. So, before you start actively meeting potential dates again, it’s important you think through what it is you’re looking for, and set your expectations.
What are the most important traits you’re looking for? Someone that you find incredibly attractive? Someone that shares the same interests and hobbies as you? Someone that makes you laugh? Someone that shares a similar background to yourself? Someone who will get on with your family and friends?
While achieving all of these in one swoop would be brilliant, it’s worth being realistic about how easy that may be. Rather than expecting to hit the jackpot as soon as you start dating at 50, manage your expectations based on the most important things you’re looking to find, rather than all of them.
Confidence is the key to successful dating. If you have confidence, the people around you will have confidence in you too. It’s important to remember the value of you and what you have to offer. It’s true that you might not look like you did in your 20’s, but neither will the person you’re dating (unless of course you’re aiming to date a 20-something year old).
You are a capable adult who has achieved and done so much in life already. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but likewise not everyone you meet will be yours either. Have the confidence to recognise this and embrace who you are and what you stand for.
Many singles who make the conscious decision to actively start ‘dating’ make the mistake of expecting to find what they’re looking for as easily as if they’ve found the right aisle in the supermarket. Dating takes time. Finding the right person takes time. While going to dating events or joining age-appropriate online dating sites is a great start to finding singles in your local area in the same age bracket as yourself, it won’t necessarily lead to an instant successful date. Be patient, and enjoy the fact that you’re meeting new people, and getting out there being sociable. Pace yourself, it doesn’t have to be a sprint race to the finish line. Take your time, and jog taking in the sites along the way
Dating at any age can bring on a few nerves. It’s worthwhile recognising that this is completely normal, and should be expected as part of the process. However, it shouldn’t overtake your ability to find enjoyment in meeting new people. Making new connections with different people can be fun and interesting. Having confidence in yourself and managing your expectations about dating over 50 should help you enjoy it all the more. Embrace the opportunities to meet new people, find out about their lives, their stories, their passions. Make friends, widen your circle, and your mind in the process. If you stay honest and pleasant, each encounter should be a positive one, irrelevant of whether or not they are your perfect match.
It’s important not to become impatient with your dating efforts. Don’t get frustrated if the first few encounters don’t work out as you expected. Dating takes time. Accept there will be highs and lows, and some disappointments are part of the process. It can be disheartening when things don’t progress as planned, or feelings aren’t mutual. Just because it didn’t work out with one doesn’t mean it won’t work out with future encounters. Keep the faith, and enjoy the journey is the key dating approach.
Playing games is an unfortunate aspect of dating that tends to happen in our younger years of dating. Foolish, inexperienced adults trying to play the field, act cool, or keep options open, we all know how it plays out. But by the time we get to dating over 50, game playing should be firmly kept in the past. If you feel that someone is starting to play games, you should be bold and move on. Life is definitely too short to waste on people who are still game playing when dating over 50. So, if you’re picking up on signs that they’re being unreliable or elusive, it’s time to cut loose.
It can be very easy to look at other singles around and compare, particularly when dating. It’s always a good idea to try and avoid this. By all means check out the competition, but don’t get caught up comparing what others have and what you think you don’t. You have got where you are and have achieved what you have in life on your own merit, and you should take pride in that. There are people who will be interested in you for you, so forget worrying about what you don’t have, and have confidence in what your strengths are. Don’t be tempted to start inventing things about yourself to try and look better. It will only tie you up in a web of lies that catch you out eventually. For help on how to get the most out of your dating profile read about our tips.