Being single at any age has its pros and cons. There are times when we want to be footloose, free and single, and there’s times when we want to have a significant other to rely on. As we get older, dating stays the same in many ways, but also brings with it different challenges and anxieties. For mature daters, there’s a few key hurdles that singles over 50 need to overcome when dating to be successful.
Singles over 50 have decades worth of life history under the belts already. They will have progressed in their careers, perhaps had families and raised children, or owned properties. They may also have had to deal with break-ups, divorce, bereavement and other unfortunate events that life deals us.
A big factor in how successful mature daters are in finding love again depends on how able they are to move on, and put the past to one side. We are inevitably shaped by the events that we have gone through in life. However, singles over 50 need to be let go of the person that once stood by their side, before they will really be able to let someone new in.
Let go of your baggage before you start looking to find someone new to let into your life.
20 or 30 years ago, technology looked very different. Life was far more simple, and people were much less connected through screens. Life didn’t need documenting on social media accounts and photos were taken to capture special memories, rather than at every turn.
However, the benefits of modern technology has allowed us all to be far more connected to each other than ever before. When you’re single, this is great news. Just look at how connected people have been during lockdown times of Covid thanks to technology. If you’re not up to speed with Zoom, instant messaging and chat, you need to be.
Of course online dating now plays a huge part in modern day dating. It’s estimated that by 2040, 70% of couples will have met each other online. So if you’re not online dating, you’re not giving yourself the chance you really deserve at meeting new people. If you’re still a bit of a techno-phobe, it’s time to get some help. Enroll the help of someone techy, upgrade your phone or computer, and make sure you’re connected to the world out there. It will allow you to broaden your opportunities to not only meet people, but connect with them much more easily.
We only need to watch the programme by the same name to know that first dates bring on nerves in singles of any age. Once we accept that whether we’re 20 or single over 50 venturing on a first date, the nerves will still be there, we can start to manage them better. Dating is a nervous endeavour, and the anticipation and anxiety that comes with a first date is natural.
Singles over 50 should never consider themselves too old or past it for first dates. You may feel out of practice, but nerves will be there whether you’ve not dated since last week or last decade. Spending a bit of time preparing for a first date can make all the difference to how you feel arriving, and how the date goes.
For a first date, choose somewhere you will feel relaxed in, whether it’s a walk somewhere familiar, to a coffee shop or restaurant you know. Familiar surroundings will make you feel far more at ease. Dress for the occasion in something you feel comfortable and confident in. There’s no point squeezing into a shirt that’s too tight or high heels that end up making you feel uncomfortable and uneasy.
Prepare some topics of conversation, to avoid any awkward silences. Pick some topics you have a common interest in or share experience of. Also think through what it is you would like to know more about in your date. If choosing food or drink, go with what you know, rather than choosing something unfamiliar that might make you feel awkward.
Whether you’ve been single and sleeping alone for longer than you’d like to admit, or if you’ve been with the same person for decades, the thought of having sex with a new partner can bring up all sorts of anxieties. The wobbly bits, the fumbling, getting naked in front of someone new, lights on or off! While all of these may be insecurities you’re worrying about, it could well be that your partner is feeling the same.
It’s important to remember that you’ve both had sex before, and will actually be more confident and experienced than you give yourself credit for. Singles over 50 are also far more likely to communicate during sex than their younger counterparts.
Choosing the right time to have sex with a new partner is an important decision. The more comfortable and at ease you are with your new companion, the less nervous you should feel between the sheets. It’s not something that needs to be rushed until you’re ready.
These 4 hurdles that singles over 50 need to overcome when dating can are all achievable with the right approach and mindset. Once you have successfully tackled these, the world of dating is your oyster.